When Life Gives You Legends

Tilda Quickthatch gave up adventuring years ago and retired to small-town Briarhaven as the local tavern wench. But now the past she's worked so hard to keep hidden has come calling for her. Its messengers? A group of misfit teens who insist she train them to pick up her mantle... or else. But what starts as simple "roll" play soon turns deadly when their antics attract the attention of a fearsome necromancer who never gave up searching for Tilda.
He swoops in with a sinister offer: exchange the powerful artifact she stole nearly a decade ago for her former partner's life. Now it seems this halfling rogue-turned-barkeep has no choice but to dust off her daggers, gather her pity of a party, and set out on her highest stake quest yet. What could possibly go wrong? What could possibly go right?! When Life Gives You Legends is a hilariously heart-pounding fantasy where being a hero means breaking a few stereotypes-and possibly a tavern chair or two.
If you enjoy witty banter, magical mayhem, and rooting for the underdog, then you'll love Luna Ryder's outrageous adventure. Here's a small taste of the action:"Rurik! Look out!" I shouted, somersaulting out from beneath the table and rolling head first into the mindless lizard brigade. They poked at me with their spears, which thankfully weren't very sharp. Still hurt though. I unfurled myself from the tiny ball I'd formed and yanked at the first thing I could reach.
A loincloth."Ahhh, Naked!" the red lizard creature screeched and moved to cover his privates with his spear hand. I yanked the wooden shaft and swung, sending him crashing into his fellow law enforcers. Finally, I was fighting someone my size. And it felt good. Real good."Naked?" another kobold echoed. I turned in the direction of the cry and flung the stolen loincloth at it."Blind! Blind!" it shrieked and scratched at its head while trying to dislodge the fabric.
Oh sweet divinity, this was nice. With kobolds, you never had to guess if your blow had landed, because they always conveniently shouted the play by play. I liked that about them.