'Twas the Week Before the Night - Housetrap, #11

Holidaze Interuptus. Randy and Bertha are forced to undertake a dangerous mission on a rickety space service and repair vehicle in order to prevent ruthless space-faring pirates from capturing an orphanage filled with small children and selling them as slaves to work in the asteroid mines. All our heroes have to do is get to the moon Calypso before Crispness Eve and transport the children and their annoying headmistress safely to Titan.
Then Captain Rinch and his pirates show up and they are not very happy. Daring battles aboard spaceships, amazing rescues, Bertha in peril, Randy harassed, and will the patrol ship from Titan reach them in time? Will the pirates spoil everyone's Crispness Eve? Not to mention the Crispness festivities, food and drink, and much merry music. With hungry vampires, gremlin pirates, seductive songstresses, and the short, heavily armed fist of the law, everyone is brimming with Crispness Spirit.
Oh, and the helpless little children aren't so helpless. And what's that stuff about Randy and breakfast next morning?