The Fiasco In News - The Fiasco, #1

When you've seen as many catastrophes as I have, "disaster" becomes a relative term. But when disaster hits, feel free to do what I do-hang your head while waiting for the tights-wearing crowd to arrive. That only works if your superpower is the same one I have though. I'm an immortal walking magnet for superpowered problems. This new guy, Ted-a fake, part-time villain who's in it for the ratings and excitement-wants me to be a field correspondent for his news blog, and his offer sounds good.
If you can't beat 'em, expose 'em. The problem is he has no idea what my daily life is like. No one really does-but they'll learn.