The Cost of Quiet - How Avoidant Behaviour Hurts Our Relationships – and How Speaking Up Can Save Them

The number one lament women share with couple's therapist Colette Fehr is 'I wish I had spoken up sooner'. Regardless of age, race, education and economic status, her clients - and women the world over - are suffering from an epidemic of 'quiet quitting' in their relationships. The cost of this self-imposed silence decimates well-being and destroys partnerships. Whether due to fear of conflict, protection of the status quo, discomfort around vulnerability or culturally instilled self-sacrificing, suppressing the expression of feelings and needs is an act of acute self-abandonment which leaves women feeling depleted, disconnected, emotionally paralyzed, lonely, frustrated and unfulfilled.
The Cost of Quiet is the antidote to this crisis. Both a call-to-action and a practical guide, it gives readers the skillset to experience more meaningful connection to themselves and to their partners. Through a series of exercises designed to embolden women to value their inner experience and speak their truth, Colette offers the tools to communicate confidently and effectively in a way that deepens understanding and intimacy.
Drawing from attachment science and evidence-based therapeutic modalities such as Internal Family Systems, Emotionally Focused Therapy, Gottman Method Couples Therapy and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Colette has created a roadmap called 'The Self-Connected Communication Method' that will eradicate resentment and empower women to emotionally flourish. The book weaves psychological studies with client and personal stories, experiential practices and questions for reflection.