The Cool Thing: A Dark Comedy. Or Not.

* "irreverent, fun, and scary" * "This story will blow you away." *A love besotted crook and his street girl aquire a device taken from a long buried UFO. They think it's a medieval breastplate. IT AIN'T. It's part of a spacesuit that can nullify distance, allowing access to a lab inside the wreck. A lab with a terrifying history of failed species-splicing experiments. Not all failures die; they're abandoned in the ship's toxic Waydowns.
Occasionally one escapes, vastly invigorating the human staff. Especially those who get eaten. The girl accidentally activates the breastplate and is snatched. Death would be an improvement on her fate. The lovesick crook blindly charges to the rescue, running in circles on banana peels... and the feces flies. * Judge, 29th Annual Writer's Digest Self-Published Book Awards: "This book is exemplary in its voice and writing style."