The Bad Boys of Assjacket: Magic and Mayhem Universe - Magic and Mayhem, #9

A dare is a dare.  No self-respecting, slightly chubby, good-lookin', crime lovin' cat would ever pass up a dare. So I didn't.  Now, me and my boys are in hot water trying to figure out how to live on the right side of the law for a whole freakin' week!  This is complicated by a couple of hairy issues.- The half-headed bear in town had his privates pilfered. We have vowed to return his giggleberries.
Legal means are not working.- Sassy's Canadian tutors show up-the furry, cat-burgling dames who we've been in love with our entire nine lives. In order to woo the gorgeous broads, we need to be at our criminal best.- We need the help of a foul-mouthed troll who throws tantrums like a three-year-old serial killer and wants to bump off everyone.  Throw in a cryptic message from the Goddess, humans invading our town and evil, sticky-fingered groundhogs, and we have a hot mess on our paws.  I hope we have a few of our kitty lives left because the Bad Boys of Assjacket are going to save the day or get eighty-sixed trying.