Nosey Rosie - Southern Fried Sass, #2

When the Goddess and the Universe team-up, with Destiny and Fate shakin' their pom-poms on the sideline, it's more than a Witch can endure. Buckle up, Buttercups. I'm the Witch your momma warned you about. It was just another beautiful day in Hairy Wort when Taffy and I happened upon a dead body in the rubble of the Marshall Mansion -That got up and walked away!No! I am not messin' with you. I swear.
It really happened. Just when I thought things were as low as they would go - think the creepy, crawlies creeping and crawlin' at the very bottom of the Swamp - a tall, handsome Panther with a glint in his eye showed up like he owned the place. Then you know what he did?He told everybody he was my Mate. What the H-E-Double-hockey-sticks am I supposed to do with that pile of Grunch crap? Good Goddess, if you love me, send me a hundred-pound box of chocolate and a gallon of Miss Bunny's sweet, iced tea.
Hey! Even better, come on down and hang out a while. Heaven knows I could use the help.