Deadfool: A Fantasy Superhero Parody

The definition of an Uberhero? A being whose powers of utter willingness are so strong... you'll never ask for help again! The origins and stories of some of the most popular crimefighters(!) and villains on the planet, from the tortured mind of legendary Uberhero creator Lostés Marbel - a genius of formerly singular capacity. Picture the scene... A desolate, dimly-lit avenue shrouded in fog. You are alone.
Four thugs head towards you grinning evilly - they aren't about to ask for directions. A commanding voice echoes along the avenue, bringing a sense of relief and renewed hope."Stop there, villainous scum! Or prepare to meet your doom."Hope quickly, lost... you call him an ambulance.