A Sea of Thighs

Novel that finds itself smack dab between Tom Stoppard and Arthur C. Clarke. Professor Standish Bummpo leads a drab existence at a Midwest directional school, struggling only with the knotty problem of how best to keep his enormous member firmly under wraps, and studying up on Victorian erotica. His nubile young students keep after him for extra help with their theses, but he's more than willing to assist there as well.
Meanwhile, Dr.'s Roseystern and Gildedkuntz work hard in the lab on Looseygear, their sexual computer/robot that can handle any situation you throw at it, or suggest some of its own. By a quirk of plotting Looseygear catches sight of Bummpo's appendage and, in a melancholy fit of inadequacy, descends into what can only be termed sexual breakdown.